A friend of mine who is back for holidays from Alabama, US (yes, yes, Obama is president of the country!) swaggered towards the mamak shop as we have decided to met over a cup of teh tarik. "Hey" he said "what 's this I heard about the Hudud coming to town man? " " Er..yes," I replied " "a lot of talk over here except it tones down a little whenever there is a by-election". He asked me if I support the hudud and I vaguely answered that as a Muslim I must adhere to it as we must have blind faith to avoid ostracism by other faithful obedient Muslims.
He frowned and after thinking awhile said " But I have several questions to ask you because details need to be clarified. First, the chopping of limbs because of stealing. Now does it commensurate with the amount or value stolen? Let's say that a person stole a motorbike and another stole a few million by white collar crimes, which is rampant these days ...and politicians who squandered the Rakyat's money? Now surely not all amount is treated equivalent to one limb or limbs ? "
"Taking all their crimes into consideration and the reality are that almost half of parliamentarians and state assembly men/women are involved, do we cut off their fingers, arms and legs?" "Wallo," he continues" this means we need to build many rams in parliament and state assemblies as we have to catered to these people". "Can I have the contract to build them?" he asked me. I said that it is not fair to the naturally handicapped people who have been born with one or two limbs missing to be wrongly viewed by people to equate them with those who had their limbs amputated due to their crime. This is especially when they want to go to attend some state and parliament proceedings?
"Hah!" he said. "Then we build two separate rams. One label states for the naturally handicap and the other states Others! "Never mind he said, if he gets the contract to build the rams, he is happy enough to let go off his conscience.
Then I thought what if the money has been sent to an overseas bank or has been used to buy property in their spouse or relatives names? Do we also punish the conspirators as well?
"Another question again' he said". The stoning of adulterers... I heard that the stones have to be of certain diameter and weight so that killing victim could be done effectively. Are they thinking of building a stone factory, medium or big scale to make the stones? And can I get the contract?"
"Then how about rape?" "Isn't it enough that we have DNA sampling now, instead of resorting to four male witness? As that time of ruling there was no technology of ballistic, DNA technique, forensic behaviour specialists...." on and on he went with modern technologies "and what the hack, should four men standby folding their arms and not doing anything while the poor woman was being rape?...voyeurs ke?" I meekly said that since all these new technology are discovered by the west, maybe they are not suitable for Muslim societies!
As I could not give him a decent explanation as I am not schooled in islamic legislation nor even from a pondok school, before getting up he throw me another question. "Hey, how about cultural dances? Would hudud ban my favourite Dangdut?." I also thought, what is life without music and festivities?
He then laughed and said that since he is going back to secular America and perhaps would not secure the proposed contracts, he wished me luck and cautioned me not to commit any simple crime like stealing visible objects!! He then swaggered into the sunset.-Rakyattimes.com
